By Steve CrumThe comic book-based Kingsman: The Secret Service tries so hard to spoof Bond films, but never quite succeeds. God knows serious money was loaded into it, from extensive digital effects to star power. But at best Kingsman only emulates Bond takeoffs that have preceded it over the last 50 years, making it a spoof of a spoof. Let me put it another way: Via the hind teat this movie sucketh.
Directed and co-written by Matthew Vaughn (Kick-Ass; X-Men: First Class), Kingsman: The Secret Service most closely echoes the Matt Helm series, an early James Bond spoof, which starred Dean Martin. There have been other take-offs on Bond flicks—from movies (Our Man Flint, Austin Powers) to TV (Get Smart). My guess is that since the Bond franchise is still alive and well after all these decades, why not give today’s young audience something old, which to them translates to something new: another Bond parody.
After all, how many 20 year-olds have seen even one of the four Matt Helm movies, a series that ran from 1966-69? Update that sub-genre with more sex and profanity, and add a heavy dose of digital effects to really enhance the violence. For Kingsman, fail to include any of the humor, wit, and suspense its predecessors contain.
Like the Bond setting, Kingsman is British based and centers on the exploits of licensed to kill agents protecting the Queen’s realm. The plus of the story is the focus on “Eggsy” Unwin (Taron Egerton), whose secret service father was killed years ago by enemy agent Gazelle (Sofia Boutella), who sports prosthetic legs resembling razor sharp swords. Shades of Bond’s Oddjob with that slice and dice hat. It turns out that Eggsy’s dad’s friend and fellow agent Harry Hart (Colin Firth) has waited 17 years until Eggsy is grown so he can basically recruit the young man to become a Kingsman, thus following in his father’s footsteps.
Eggsy reluctantly agrees, and undergoes combat and survival training along with other young recruits. This is where Kingsman: The Secret Service is interesting and thoroughly original. Once trained and properly dressed for the part, thanks to Hart, Eggsy is off to avenge his father and save the world from a nefarious, lisping, hip-hop villain, Richmond Valentine (Samuel L. Jackson). (How appropriate this movie opens on Valentine’s Day weekend.) Valentine plans to control the world via cell phones and electronic implants.
The second half of the movie becomes a loud, f-bombing cliché of excessive violence. There is a near endless, disgusting mass murder sequence occurring inside a church that is over-the-top gross. Don’t we get enough of decapitations and shootings on the evening news? Despite the violent sequences (that go on too long) featuring mass killings and heads exploding, there is not much blood spilled…even when one guy is literally sliced in half. Accept this as an observation, I am not a fan of bloodletting.
Another original touch is the naming of secret service agents, borrowing from the legendary King Arthur’s knights. Michael Caine plays home-based leader Arthur; Colin Firth is Galahad; Mark Strong’s Merlin trains the candidates; and Eggsy’s father was Lancelot. Clocking in at 129 minutes, Kingsman: The Secret Service seems even longer.
——————————
Grade on A-F Scale: C