Author: Steve Crum
Worth 1,000 Words: HOPPY & MATT DILLON, the long riders
By Steve Crum
AN ICONIC PHOTO if ever there was one, two legendary–and fictional–cowboy heroes meet. While Dennis Weaver’s Chester character from Gunsmoke observes, MARSHAL MATT DILLON (JAMES ARNESS), left, greets man in black HOPALONG CASSIDY (WILLIAM BOYD) on the set of Gunsmoke, circa 1956. [from Steve Crum’s showbiz memorabilia collection]
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Both Matt and Hoppy hold Guinness Book records for their repeated portrayals of one character. WILLIAM BOYD [June 5, 1899-Sept. 12, 1972] played Hopalong Cassidy in 66 feature films, not including his Hopalong Cassidy television series. JAMES ARNESS, born May 26, 1923, played Marshal Dillon a staggering 640 times over the 20 year Gunsmoke run, including five made-for-TV Gunsmoke movies after the series ended. That constitutes gallons of saddle soap.
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A tribute to Hoppy, William Boyd: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gf2eT1NXkWE
Worth 1,000 Words: Happy Birthday, AL JOLSON!
By Steve Crum
Today, May 26, marks the 124th Birthday celebration of “The World’s Greatest Entertainer,” AL JOLSON [May 26, 1886-Oct. 23, 1950]. Accounts vary as to Jolie’s actual birth date, including year and day, but today is generally considered his birthday. Born Asa Yoelson or Asa Yoel in Seredzius, Lithuania, Jolson’s star power elevated him through show business in vaudeville, minstrel shows, Broadway shows, radio programs, recordings, and motion pictures for half a century.
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This rarely seen portrait of Al Jolson reading a script, and obviously enjoying it, is an original Warner Bros. Studio Keybook Photo, dated 1934, the year Jolie starred in WONDER BAR. It is likely this publicity photo was made to publicize the Vitaphone movie. [from Steve Crum’s showbiz memorabilia collection]
Would YOU like to read about ‘QUEEN for a DAY’?!
Jack Bailey is flanked by his TV hostesses as he regally sits on the throne occupied by hundreds of needy women through “Queen for a Day’s” long run.
By Steve Crum
On Sept. 24, 1959, JACK BAILEY got the on-the-air signal and yelled to the camera, “Would YOU like to queen for a day?!” My aunt and grandmother both responded “YES!” in unison with hundreds more ladies in the audience at the Moulin Rouge in Hollywood as NBC-TV’s QUEEN FOR A DAY, “the Cinderella Show,” kicked off another daily foray into enthusiastic fun, extravagant prizes, and heart breaking stories of tragedy and despair.
By the time my Aunt Ada (Holley), Grandma (Jo) Axtell, and Grandpa (Hugh) Axtell, had been seated at the then famous Moulin Rouge theatre-restaurant located on Sunset Blvd. near Vine Street, Queen for a Day had been broadcast for nearly 15 years. Beginning on radio in 1945, the show had yet another five years airtime following my relatives’ incursion. In its initial run on both radio and TV, Queen for a Day mopped up gallons of tears and delivered refrigerators by the ton. The half hour show was so popular and financially successful, the network increased the running time to 45 minutes, just to jam in more commercials at the then astronomical price of $4,000 per minute.
The show’s format was simple. Each woman in the audience filled out a card, describing why she should be chosen as a contestant. The more emotional and needy the reason, the better. “My son needs an iron lung and my husband I can’t afford to pay for one,” said one woman. Another might write, “My husband has been out of work for a year, and is disabled. We need a new stove to help feed our 12 children.” The four best–or really, worst–stories were chosen by the 
Queen staff, and these four women were the day’s contestants. This was the ultimate sympathy show, a daily dose of pathos and pride swallowing. By the way, this was a woman’s show with only women as participants, not counting emcee Jack Bailey or the smattering of men sitting in the audience.
Queen staff, and these four women were the day’s contestants. This was the ultimate sympathy show, a daily dose of pathos and pride swallowing. By the way, this was a woman’s show with only women as participants, not counting emcee Jack Bailey or the smattering of men sitting in the audience.The four women were each given about five minutes to tell their stories, guided by Bailey’s pseudo-sympathetic questions. Toward the end of the show, it was time to vote on which lady should be crowned queen. And crowned she was. Bailey held his hand over each lady’s head, as the studio audience applauded. An “applause meter” would appear in the corner of the screen, registering 1-10 on the audio scale. The one with the highest applause rating won. Bailey would then shout, “Number….TWO!” (Or One, Three or Four.)
Outfitted in a sable-trimmed, red velvet robe and jeweled crown, the “Queen” would parade around the stage as Pomp and Circumstance (the old graduation march) blasted. She would then be led to her velvet covered throne, and accept a dozen long-stemmed roses, moistened by her dripping tear ducts. She was then told of what the show was providing to fulfill her wish, like a new iron lung. (This iron lung thing is one I particularly remember seeing.) In addition, she received a king’s…uh, queen’s ransom in gifts, including a mink coat, a vacation trip, frozen food, appliances, etc. While all this occurred, the camera avoided showing the three contestants who lost, as they were escorted off stage.Jack Bailey, in his best carnival pitchman voice, ended each show thusly: “This is Jack Bailey, wishing we could make EVERY woman a queen, for every single day!” This is not meant to put Jack Bailey down. He was perfect for the show, and probably meant what he said.
By 1964, when the show ended, perhaps the country had changed enough to move on and away from exploited poor souls in what was really the earliest reality-based show ever broadcast. It was the time of Civil Rights and Vietnam. One critic labels Queen for a Day as “tasteless and demeaning.” Another calls it “one of the most ghastly shows ever produced.” Sounds like the Jerry Springer Show of its time. Unlike the Springer vulgarity, however, Queen for a Day did maintain propriety and decorum amidst its human indignation.
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An addendum: Both Grandma Axtell and Aunt Ada WERE picked from the audience to come up on stage for final contestant consideration. Unfortunately, their wishes did not stack up against another contestant’s need for a hearing aid, or that lady whose electricity had been shut off for the past month. My aunt and grandmother did not make the final cut. Aunt Ada’s Cinderella wish was to have a mother-in-law bed. Grandma just wanted her own pool table so she could finally learn Minnesota Fats’ game. Neither request would have spiked the applause meter. Pictured above is the back side of Aunt Ada’s ticket to the show. Jack Bailey’s “word” regarding one’s wishes is particularly choice. Where is the rule prohibiting the use of an onion to evoke tears? [from Steve Crum’s showbiz memorabilia collection]——————–
Try not to sob while watching this unusual Queen for a Day clip that opens like The Jackie Gleason Show: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggV8Uwhnmq8
Worth 1,000 Words: Hot Lips’ dream sequence from ‘M*A*S*H’
By Steve Crum
Arguably, THE best series in television history is M*A*S*H. From Sept. 17, 1972-Feb. 28, 1983, its superbly written stories were played out by an ensemble cast par excellence. Set at the 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital (MASH) in South Korea during the Korean War, stories dealt with the violence and insanity of war as well as military doctors and nurses, saving lives while coping through both zaniness and compassion. No matter how wild and ribald the jokes, these folks truly cared.
Several TV series have tried to duplicate at least portions of the M*A*S*H chemistry with varying success. HOUSE, another doctor series, mostly succeeds. It is definitely from the M*A*S*H mold, though set in current day.
The finale episode of M*A*S*H, aired Feb. 28, 1983, holds the record as the most watched TV episode in U.S. TV history (105.97 million viewers). The TV series was adapted from Robert Altman’s 1979 film of the same title. Frankly, in 1971, when I heard that there would be a TV series based on the classic dark comedy movie, I immediately prejudged it to bomb big time. However, from the first episode I knew this was something special, both entertaining and important to watch. I never missed an episode.——————–
Can you guess the M*A*S*H episode in the CBS publicity photo at the top of this piece? If you are a true M*A*S*H fan, you should know it immediately. It is one of seven dream sequences depicted in the award winning Dreams episode, aired Feb. 18, 1980, the 22nd episode of the eighth season. Directed and co-written by Alan Alda (shown here portraying Maj. Hawkeye Pierce), the story deals with surreal dreams, actually nightmares, experienced while each cast member tries to sleep between dealing with wounded and dying soldiers. The episode won The Humanitas Prize, and was nominated for a Writers’ Guild of America award in the dramatic category, a first for a comedy series. In this, the Margaret Houlihan dream, Loretta Swit’s Major Houlihan dreams of a wedding that segues into wounded soldiers and her blood-spattered wedding gown.
The CBS caption on the photo’s reverse merely states: SUBJECTS: ALAN ALDA, LORETTA SWIT…PROGRAM: M*A*S*H…ON AIR: MONDAY, AUG. 4, 9:00-9:30, ET. It was obviously promoting the airing of a summer rerun. The date of photo press release is 7/11/80. [from Steve Crum’s showbiz memorabilia collection]
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A tribute to M*A*S*H: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LBWDbTN9pE
Don’t quiver, but ‘Robin Hood’ at least hits target’s edge
By Steve Crum
Robin Hood, directed by Ridley Scott (Gladiator), should be titled Robin Hood: The Prequel. Indeed, this Robin Hood is unlike most of the previous 20 or so movie and TV Robins I have seen over a lifetime in that it is the backstory, covering the history of Robin before he was a Hood. Of course, there is that Sean Connery sequel, Robin and Marian, chronicling Robin’s later years; Disney’s animated, foxy Robin; and Mel Brooks’ spoof, Robin Hood, Men in Tights, which pretty much arrow-headed the Robin Hood myth.
Metaphorically, Scott’s Robin Hood misses the bulls-eye, but at least hits the edge of the target.
Russell Crowe brings low key, solid reserve to the lead role, but is far from Errol Flynn charismatic. Then again, screenwriter Brian Helgeland has purposely fashioned this take on the mythological hero as more of any everyman who rises to the occasion of leading his not so merry men against tyranny in 13th Century England. Opening toward the end of the already decade-long Crusades, King Richard the Lionheart (Danny Huston) heads the charge against a fortified castle, against arrows, spears and scalding oil pouring from the turrets. A couple of events occur that involve both Robin aka Robin Longstride and King Richard. Without adding a spoil, let’s just say both occurrences adversely affect the legendary story told in previous films. The King Richard turn of events, particularly, really floored me.
Soon Robin is mustered out of service (for reasons not divulged here), along with a handful of pals who have names like Little John (Kevin Durand) and Will Scarlet (Scott Grimes), monikers familiar to Robin Hood fans of old. It must be added that Robin and his friends are shown to be fearless and aggressive in battle, so the heroic angle is established early on.
Holding to a dying man’s promise, Robin detours to the hamlet of Nottingham to relay a message to his family. There he meets (Maid) Marion Loxley (Cate Blanchett) and her father-in-law, the sightless Sir Walter Loxley (Max von Sydow). It turns out the dying man was Sir Robert Loxley (Douglas Hodge), Marion’s husband. The story line detours from tradition yet again. The Loxleys are in danger of losing their land to the tyranny of the Sheriff of Nottingham (Matthew Macfadyen) who is only following orders from the despicable King John (Oscar Isaac), Richard the Lionheart’s younger brother. Marion talks Robin into posing as her late husband to prevent automatic seizure of their property. Is it surprising a love story subplot develops?The remainder of the film, which runs 2 hrs., 20 mins., but seems longer, is filled with government (both French and English) deceit, bloody battles, bows and arrows, and a lot of foot run rushes and horseback rides. And yelling, particularly during the battle scenes. Those yelling inclusions, though necessary and totally expected, were either hampered by the inherent audio soundtrack or the sound system where this film was screened. Because the audio was turned up so loudly, 75% of the dialogue during the action sequences was incoherent. It doesn’t help either that Marc Streitenfeld’s forgettable music is full of flourishes and sweeps made deafening due to the sound system’s maxed out decibels. Aye, these are not positive enjoyment factors, Robin. Or I should say Ridley.
The pluses of Robin Hood are the landscape, castle, ships and battle scenes. Let me qualify that the long shots of battles are superb. However, the close-ups of hand-to-hand, sword-to-sword combat are of the hand-held, shaky, barf inducing-due-to-dizziness type. This way the filmmaker does not have to overly choreograph a fight, it is merely CGI enhanced with jerks and pans that imply fighting. Even an action video game triggers less headache than this.
While Crowe’s bow and arrow expertise is obvious (the word is he spent endless hours practicing to perfection), his horseback riding is painful to view, probably because it is. He rides with grimace, bent over, and stiff, ill at ease in the saddle. (Why couldn’t this have been CGI enhanced?)All actors are fine in their respective roles, including Crowe. Particularly effective is William Hurt’s William Marshal, a politician who changes loyalties as the story progresses. The story leads up to the time Robin and his men, including Will, Little John, Allan A’Dayle (Alan Doyle) and Friar Tuck (Mark Addy) are just beginning their well known encampment in Sherwood Forest.
While I applaud Ridley Scott for attempting to add to the legend of Robin Hood, it is doubtful this pre-story will be included in any future Robin Hood films. Please think Errol Flynn and the established legend only next time.
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GRADE on an A to F Scale: C-
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