By Steve Crum

Remember those sleazy drive-in movies of the 1960s and ‘70s, which were filled with sex and violence usually mixed with teenagers and monsters? It was a time when Russ Meyer reigned as the smut king of B-movies.

Local filmmaker De Miller obviously does, and serves up a halter top full of parody in his second direct-to-video film, High Stakes. It played to a receptive and sporadically giggling Granada Theatre audience of more than 100 at its world premiere on July 7 (1995).

Many of its actors, minus name stars Cathy Turner, Tiny Tim and Jerry Mathers, attended.

Aimed at what producer-director Miller says is “foreign markets,” High Stakes takes the cliché plot of a car (really a van in this version) breaking down on a deserted road, forcing the passengers (three barely clad young women—headed by Olympic medalist Turner) to seek help in a nearby spooky house (the exterior of the reputedly haunted Sauer Castle in Argentine). 

At the door they are greeted by the ghastly Rentfield (Tiny Tim, not requiring any additional make-up to perform in character, in one of several scenes shot in March). The plot and blood thicken. A family of vampires resides within, and conveniently three of them are males. Bring on the gratuitous sex! Leering, touching, kissing and, did I mention, leering occupies most of the paired-up couples’ time during the several days (?) the bimbo…er, young ladies spend at the abode waiting for delivery of a new distributor for their vehicle. 

The videoplay, as written by Miller (who also edited) and son, Mark, includes two scenes that go beyond the 52 separate cleavage and short-shorts posterior closeups. One has Remus, vampire brother of Romulus (Get it? Hey, these are the jokes in this humor-in-vein flick.), changing into a dog so can secretly leer at Nina (future Penthhouser Chrissy Mountjoy) as she steps from the shower. Then there is a graphic-without-showing-genitalia intercourse scene between Remus and Lucy. 

Though not rated, the video (which was projected with some difficulty on the giant screen) would weigh-in at a strong “R.” Parents of the few children attending the screening were probably aghast. 

The plot does include the old stake-in-the-heart sequence, and a turn by Mathers as professor Von Heavensing (instead of Von Helsing, ouch). Unfortunately, Mathers was only available for his scene one day, and a lengthy, talky sequence has him mostly behind a cluttered desk, explaining how to kill a vampire to Turner and cohort. Then they carry out his instructions. Golly, but it might have been a blast to see The Beaver himself drive the stake.

The best moment in the film is a double, double take between Tiny Tim and guests assembled in the living room. There is no real meaning or purpose, but it comes in from left field and works in a humorous, surreal way. 

Tim’s otherwise hammy performance ranks a nose better than the rest of the cast, who should at least be given credit for memorizing their lines. 

Credit Max Groove for an impressive sound recording and musical track that often suggests Ennio Morricone’s low and driving heartbeat sound in The Thing. 

High Stakes is a local product and, like fellow local filmmaker Todd Scheets’ direct-to-video horror efforts, the audience is limited. In other words, few reading this critique will ever see High Stakes or even Miller’s promised upcoming, big-budgeted production, Godfathers, Da Movie?

Even so, it is hoped that Miller’s obvious talents will go beyond parody laced with soft-core porn, salable as that is. 

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GRADE on an A-F Scale: D-

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NOTE: The above review first appeared in The Kansas City Kansan newspaper on July 11, 1995. Immediately after the issue hit the stands, I received a phone call from De Miller. He was furious, accusing me of not getting enough sex in my life. From all indications, High Stakes went nowhere after its “world premiere.” However, Miller did publish a book based upon his movie. For awhile, the book was available on Amazon. That was a couple of decades ago, however. Miller has since moved from KCK to Florida, and is now producing Christian movies. High Stakes is nowhere to be mentioned in his biography on either Amazon or the Internet Movie Data Base. The bios of Jerry Mathers and Tiny Tim do not list it either.

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